Tolkeinesque humour

These were things I made up in 2005 as a bit of a joke - so for all who like and appreciate Tolkein - here's a post for you:

Authors Bilbo Baggins Books There and Back Again: A Hobbit’s Tale Magazines Country Living Elves Weekly Newspapers Nuduin Times Hobbiton Chronicle Comic Strips Nymphs and Shepherds

Movies Mission Imp Mission Imp 2 Lord of the Rings First Blood – the beginnings of Nuduin Naked Gnomes Naked Gnomes 21/2′ Naked Gnomes 331/3" Armageddon New Armour and a Bow Twelve Men from beneath the Mountain The Lone Ranger The Return of the King: Elvish is Alive Pixie Academy Mrs Dragonfire Escape from New Orc City Enemy of the State: Smaug returns May-tricks: Computer wizardry starring Gandalf May-tricks exploded: more dangerous computer wizardry by Gandalf May-tricks Revolution: the Hobbits rebel S.W.A.T.: Got that pesky Dwarf Kill Bilbo: Directed by Gollum Master and Commander – Starring Gandalf Stormcrow The Out-of-Towners – Invasion of the Trolls Mystic River – Saruman casts a spell The Ent-tertainer Gnome Alone TV Shows Biffo the Dwarf Slayer Deep Space Elf Actors Leprachaun Connery

Type of Music Music of the Woods Rock Bands/Artists Take That (you annoying little Dwarf) Elfzone Spice Elves Atomic Wargs

Sports Archery Teams Rivendell Rangers Lothlorien Loonies

Vacation Spots Rivendell Lothlorien

Food Drink – Sprite

True to yourself or false

I was pondering the world when I was coming home from my singing lesson today (I was on a bus so I had time to ponder :) )

We live in a world of false things:

False promises - we see this with our MPs [politicians], of course these can be at a lower level
False peace treaties - again amongst nations - false peace can be amongst families and work colleauges, peers etc.

But what about our personal lives? Our physical bodies? Did God create us to be false? Did God give us the bodies we have so that we could alter them to how we want to? This world is full of false things:

False hair colour/hair type (curly or straight) etc.
False eye lashes
False skin colour (tans and the like)
False nails
False breasts
False eye colour (different coloured contact lenses)
False body figures (I remember in the 80s there was a media frenzy when Jane Fonda admitted she had some ribs removed to make her have a slim(mer) waist)

Do we really have to go around being false? (Got to admit that I have worn false nails because my nails are hopeless)

I'm not judging anyone who has any of these things - Just wondering whether we should be false in our lives - have false anything (including false attitudes...)?